


clusterfucc ™

by orphan_account



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Drama, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Multi, Texting, adding relationships and tags as I go, everything, rated as teen bc of language and mayb some other stuff, theyre in america ok, u think i dont know this is a generic chat fic?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-28
Updated: 2018-09-16
Packaged: 2019-07-03 06:54:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15813735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: hoshi ☆: omg…. it is a Purehoshi☆: some even call it….. a cinnamon rollJihoon: soonyoung this isn’t 2016 tumblr u headass. if u say ‘smol’ next im coming over to beat ur ass-Chan just wanted to sit at someone's lunch table, instead he gets added to a group chat full of crackheads.





	1. YOLE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys this is my first work that ive posted ,, just thought 'fuck it' and finally published this. school starts tomorrow for me so i thought 'lemme start a chat fic that takes place literally today'.
> 
> just for reference so yall know:
> 
> chan: chan !  
> hansol: tighty whitey  
> seungkwan: doja cat  
> minghao: YOU MESSIN W MY TRUCK?  
> mingyu: gyu loves doggos  
> seokmin: donkey kong  
> jihoon: Jihoon  
> wonwoo: wonu  
> soonyoung: hoshi☆  
> junhui: don’t pop em on me  
> joshua: josh  
> Jeonghan: hannah montana  
> Seungcheol: seungcheol
> 
> it gets mentioned in the story but just letting u guys know before u get confused . have fun reading this shitshow!

[ **chan !** _has been added to_ **clusterfucc** ]

_11:56 pm_

 

 **tighty whitey:** yole,,,, we have a new member of our clusterfuck

 

 **don’t pop em on me:** *clusterfucc™

 

 **jihoon:** WHY did you spell y’all that way

 

 **tighty whitey:** imagine someone british or australian saying yall

 

 **tighty whitey:** YOLE

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** dsjkhjkhj

 

 **wonu:** you sure are creative!

 

 **doja cat:** i can SMELL the sarcasm

 

 **don't pop em on me:**  and i can smell your 'down under' all the time but i dont comment about that do i

 

 **doja cat:**  ?????? DID YOU HAVE TO DRAG ME LIKE THAT??? TF? HOW DID WE EVEN GET TO THAT TOPIC

 

 **Jihoon:** short list of things this convo ain't:

  * it



 

 **wonu:** old news

 

 **doja cat:** jun don't mention my booty hole ever again

 

 **don't pop em on me:** maybe if you washed your COOCHIE sometime , it wouldnt STANK , and i wouldve never mentioned it IN THE FIRST PLACE

 

 **doja cat:** THIS IS CYBERBULLYING!!!!!

 

 **tighty whitey:** guys we have a new person in the gc . pls dont make this his first impression

 

 **hoshi** ☆ **:**  hello new member that hasn’t spoken yet!!  

 

 **tighty whitey:** oh right hes probably asleep lmfao

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** asleep before 12,,,,, what a Normie

 

 **doja cat:** i feel like saying normie unironically makes you a normie?

 

 **gyu loves doggos:**..

 

 **don't pop em on me:** thats Deep™

 

 **chan !** : what is this??

 

 **tighty whitey:** yo!!! its vernon from lunch??

 

 **chan !** : who?

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** WELL.

 

 **doja cat:** DBSJSJ IM FUXKIGB

 

 **wonu:** hansol vernon chwe found dead in his home at 12 am

 

 **tighty whitey:** lol uh i sat next to u in english?

 

 **chan !** **:** jkjk!!!! I remember u lol. thanks for letting me sit at ur table at lunch :) ure super nice

 

 **hoshi** ☆ **::** omg…. it is a Pure

 

 **hoshi** ☆ **::** some even call it….. a cinnamon roll

 

 **Jihoon** : soonyoung this isn’t 2016 tumblr u headass. if u say ‘smol’ next im coming over to beat ur ass

 

 **hoshi**  ☆: uwu bitch

 

 **doja cat:** soonyoung immediately forgot about him pulling a “new phone who dis” on vernon and giving him a heart attack in 0.2 seconds

 

 **chan !:** i hope i didn’t scare u too much, it was just a joke!!

 

 **doja cat:** oh my god,,,, it is indeed a pure

 

 **Jihoon:** .

 

 **wonu:** im getting a feeling theres more to him than is seen on the outside,,,, a Secret Satan

 

 **wonu:** also who are u jddhsj lol

 

 **chan !:** i’m chan, im 15 and a sophomore

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** omg a baby

 

 **doja cat:** you were a sophomore 2 months ago mingyu, dont act tough

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** AT LEAST I WASNT AN ANNOYING FRESHMAN TWO MONTHS AGO

 

 **tighty whitey:** ok fight me

 

 **hoshi** ☆ **::** yoyoyo im soonyoung and we’re all in high school except for the golden trio

 

 **chan !:** mkayy can everybody just say their names??

 

 **chan !:** also who are the golden trio?

 

 **Jihoon:** hi im jihoon and i want to die

 

 **don’t pop em on me:** phat mood

 

 **Jihoon:** the golden trio are seungcheol, jeonghan and joshua cause theyre the oldest and have been friends the longest and are also rarely seen w/o each other

 

 **doja cat:** also they have this underlying romantic tension but dont mention it

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** u know they can read this right?

 

 **doja cat:** you think they scroll up to look at past messages? their old bones arent strong enough for that

 

 **don’t pop em on me:** dkdhsjsj old bones

 

 **chan !:** wait who of the three have romantic tension???

 

 **Jihoon:** all of them

 

 **chan !:** oh

 

 **Jihoon:** seungkwan u rly shouldnt be talking abt underlying romantic tension rn w/ ur whipped ass

 

 **doja cat:** HEY

 

 **wonu:** ok i’m tired

 

 **wonu:** chan i’ll make this easier for u

 

 **wonu:** tighty whitey = vernon

doja cat = seungkwan

YOU MESSIN W MY TRUCK? = minghao

gyu loves doggos = mingyu

donkey kong = seokmin

wonu = me, wonwoo

hoshi = soonyoung

don’t pop em on me = junhui

hannah montana = jeonghan

 

 **wonu:** and the rest is p obvious

 

 **doja cat:** not all heroes wear capes

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** a lot of us arent online rn but youll meet them later

 

 **chan !:** thanks!!

 

 **chan !:** can i just ask… why are we on kik?? no one uses that anymore

 

 **Jihoon:** if no one uses it anymore then why do u have it CHAN

 

 **chan !:** touché

 

 **chan !:** so many names are vines

 

 **doja cat:** thats another story for another time,,,,

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** it doesnt have to be

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** dont pop em on me = junhui  > jun > june > july > "ITS THE 4TH OF JULY, IM READY TO POP THESE FIRE CRACKERS, DONT POP EM ON ME! WHERE THE POLICE AT I DONT--" "theres police right there!" "djkhsd"

YOU MESSIN W/ MY TRUCK = hao knows how to use nunchucks,,,, thats all u need to know

 

 **chan !:**  right.

 

 **gyu loves doggos:** why is no one saying 'not all heroes wear capes' to me

 

 **Jihoon:** cause ure annoying.

 

 **chan !:** im gonna go to sleep cause its still a school day tomorrow, but i had a good time :)) bye

 

 **Jihoon:** im pretty sure half of us went offline in the past 10 minutes but gn chan

 

 **doja cat:** LMAOOO HES ALREADY DONE W OUR SHIT

 

 **doja cat:** i mean ,,, i get tired reading our bullshit too , the fuck

 

 **doja cat:** im sleeping now bye yall

 

 **wonu:** oh ! so its like that?? yall just gonna leave me alone in here

 

 **wonu:** what am i supposed to do now???

 

 **Jihoon:** sleep

 

 **wonu:**  LMAOOO GOOD ONE

 

 **Jihoon:** IKRRR INSOMNIA GANG

 

 **don't pop em on me:** yall need sleep and jesus. good NIGHT


	2. dk said gay rights!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> wonu: seungkwan did u actually change ur name to jojo siwa or am i hallucinating
> 
> jojo siwa: did i actually change my name to icon, skinny legend, goddess amongst humanity, jojo siwa? u fucking bet ya

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeehaw gurls and boys,, 
> 
>  
> 
> sorry for not updating this for almost a month . school is worse than i thought it was gonna be so pray for ur fave cowgirl
> 
> idk what country theme i have going on but antonio garza is probably the cause,,
> 
> hope u guys enjoy this!!

**clusterfucc**

_10:06 am_

 

 **hannah montana:** hey yall what did i miss

  


**hannah montana:** someone ‘spill the tea’ as the kids would say

  


**seungcheol:** oh my--

  


**don’t pop em on me:** kjdhksdj AS THE KIDS WOULD SAY

  


**hannah montana:** why is no one gossiping to me yet????

  


**seungcheol:** everyone is in class headass

  


**YOU MESSIN W MY TRUCK?:** yeah headass

  


**hannah montana:** first off - minghao idk who tf u think ure calling a headass

  


**hannah montana:** SECOND OFF yall just contradicted ya whole selves cause jun and hao both answered,,,, while in class,,,,,,,,

  


**gyu loves doggos:** that doesnt mean all of us are online lol

  


**hannah montana:** but you--

  


**hannah montana:** yall are TESTING me today .

  


**don’t pop em on me:** oh god

  


**seungcheol:** what

  


**josh:** It’s 10:09

  


**don’t pop em on me:** hes coming...

  


**Seungcheol:** …

  


**hoshi☆:** HI SISTERS

  


**hoshi☆:** gotta drop in for my daily 10 hour 10 minute

  


**hoshi☆:** its 10:10 am

  


**hoshi☆:** that was it bye yall

  


**josh:** I still dont get why he does that

  


**don’t pop em on me:** long story

  


**hannah montana:** EVERYONE IS ON THEIR PHONES YET SOMEHOW IGNORING ME

  


**doja cat:** not everyone lol

  


**tighty whitey:** yeah not everyone

  


**wonu:** i didnt even go to school

  


**Jihoon:** i have a free period

  


**wonu:** but that doesnt mean we’re on our phones

  


**Jihoon:** yeah

  


**gyu loves doggos:** i s2g yall are like fred and george

  


**josh:** What does ‘s2g’ mean?

  


**YOU MESSIN W MY TRUCK:** josh ure such a local i love it

  


**josh:** Whats a local??? Lol

  


**don’t pop em on me:** OH MY

  


**wonu:** its ok if u dont know josh. we support local lives in this household

  


**josh:** Oh. Thanks??

  


**donkey kong:** jeonghan i’ll tell you what happened when class is over!! just wait 5 mins

  


**hannah montana:** you the only bitch i ever trusted in this house

  


**doja cat:** chan is such a good student for not coming online :’)

  


**hannah montana:** who the fuck is that

  


**tighty whitey:** oh right half of u guys missed that haha

  


**hannah montana:** this is why someone had to ‘spill the tea’ smh

  


**wonu:** have patience oh my god

  


**tighty whitey:** hes a new student and is in the gc now

  


**hannah montana:** without out discussing it with me??? how dare you?????

  


**hannah montana:** what if i dont like him

  


**doja cat:** you adopt anyone under the age of 17 ,,,,, youll love him

  


**chan !:** hey guys!! i just got out of class lol

  


**chan !:** im chan :)) youre jeonghan right??

  


**hannah montana:** i love him

  


**chan !:** what

  


**hannah montana:** nothing

  


[ **doja cat** _has changed their name to_ **jojo siwa** ]

  


**Jihoon:** seungkwan what goes through your head on a daily basis

  


**josh:** Jojo Siwa??? What?

  


**wonu:** seungkwan did u actually change ur name to jojo siwa or am i hallucinating

  


**jojo siwa:** did i actually change my name to icon, skinny legend, goddess amongst humanity, jojo siwa? u fucking bet ya

  


**gyu loves doggos:** im at a loss for words

  


**jojo siwa:** gyu u better shut up with ur “doggo” saying ass

  


**gyu loves doggos:** excuse me? doggo will forever be THE most wholesome meme, and will always bring happiness to everyone reading the word.

  


**YOU MESSIN W MY TRUCK?:** i strongly agree

  


**chan !:** i hate to pick sides but mingyu is definitely the winner of this argument

  


**Jihoon:** oh my god can we talk abt smth else than cringe culture

  


**josh:** So chan youre new right? How are you liking it so far?

  


**chan !:** i like it but its,,, kinda weird??

  


**seungcheol:** weird in what way exactly

  


**chan !:** i just overheard someone saying “i think my cousin has a crush on me”

  


**chan !:** so . that was slightly traumatizing

  


**jojo siwa:** OH MY GOD KJFDNKSK

  


**hannah montana:** WHAT

  


**gyu loves doggos:** sweet home alabama!

  


**wonu:** KJHFKDJHS

  


**don’t pop em on me:** MINGYU HJKFHDHSKH

  


**josh:** we live in georgia……

  


**tighty whitey:** literally nothing is in georgia jfkdhsjk chan y did u even move here

  


**donkey kong:** uH not true love, simon takes place here

  


**hoshi☆:** also peaches

  


**jojo siwa:** dk said gay rights!

  


**Jihoon:** remember when i got grounded last week . that was bc of simon vs the homosapiens agenda

  


**YOU MESSIN W MY TRUCK?:** excuse me what

  


**Jihoon:** my dad tried to throw away the book bc its gay and then i said

  


**Jihoon:** ‘you can rip this book from my cold dead gay hands’

  


**hannah montana:** KJHJKHS

  


**josh:** Jihoon….

  


**gyu loves doggos:** we stan

  


**chan !:** ive known u guys for like 12 hours but from what ive gathered,, jihoon is a gay icon

  


**seungcheol:** oh my god

  


**Jihoon:** damn right i am

  


**don’t pop em on me** : this gc got 10% more iconic when chan entered tbh

  


**chan !:** aw :’)

  


**donkey kong:** the bell just rang so howdy yall!

  


**jojo siwa:** howdy king

 

  
**tighty whitey:** js

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if u guys ever notice that i exclude a certain character pls tell me and i'll be sure to give them more attention in the next chapter!! its hard including 13 ppl the same amount jdfkhjk

**Author's Note:**

> leave a comment bc i need validation


End file.
